You guys, it’s 2018. Can someone explain how the happened?
Tell me I’m not alone in being behind the curveball on New Year’s Resolutions? Thing is I really love making New Year’s Resolutions. I feel like I’ve been seeing a shift away from resolutions with many people pointing out that there is no magic bullet and that you don’t have to wait until a new calendar year to start big goals. And of course those people are right, you can ALWAYS make a change. But I don’t know, for me, I love the optimism of a new year. I love the turning of a new page. And on top of all of the glorious promise of a new year, my eldest was born in January. So every January I have this realization that OMG I’ve been someone’s mother for this many years. And I’m confused, and excited, and can hardly believe where all the time has gone. So, you see, I still embrace all that the new year has to offer… even if deep down I know that I could just as easily choose to focus on new goals any old month of the year.
And yes, I said goals. Because that’s another reason I think “resolutions” get a bad rap. I know many adults that scoff at resolutions, but many adults also have never learned how to set measurable goals, determinants of success or how to execute an evaluative process. Learning those things is the key to resolution success. Basically, people set goals and then leave them. But guys, this is not a crockpot.
If you want to change, you’re going have to work on it. And trust me, I’m saying this just as much for myself as I am for anyone else at this point in my life (3 kids are a hell of a thing). I think the other missing ingredient is Grace. We have to allow ourselves the opportunity to grow, and the grace to accept that growth takes time.
5 Tips for goal setting success
Anyway, this year I’m setting big hairy audacious goals (BHAG), because I want to see big hairy audacious change. Below I’ve shared a few of the tips I learned from corporate America for creating the most meaningful goals with the hope that it will help someone find that ever elusive resolution success in 2018.
Create a personal mission statement
In my past life, I have served as a board of trustees member, steering the direction of a multimillion dollar non-profit, & in that world we all have our own variation of this saying “Don’t tell me where your priorities are. Show me where you spend your money and I’ll tell you what they are.” (James W. Frick) Simply put, you do not set goals without setting or referring to the mission statement. This makes sure where you spend your time and money is always aligned with what you believe in. This holds true for personal goal setting as well. Write a personal mission statement. BONUS- if you are in a family unit, write a family mission statement. Re-evaluate it annually.
Set large goals, and then break them into digestible pieces
We’ve all heard, “don’t bite off more than you can chew.” This applies here. I think the biggest reason people fail to meet their goals is that they become overwhelmed by the hugeness of them all. So, absolutely set big goals (BHAG), but then break those mothers down. Ex: I’d like to lose 50lbs. YIKES! I already stress ate a donut. Now, let’s take a breath and think about that first 10lbs. Also, how does this reflect my mission statement? Well, my personal mission statement has a whole lot of mumbo-jumbo about health and wellness. I am currently experiencing negative health outcomes that I would like to fix. Physical and nutritional changes will bring me back in line with my personal mission. See what I did there?
Always think about the how
Here’s another biggie. Back when I sat in board meetings that lasted all day, someone would always wait right until we were just about to break for lunch and make a pitch that seemed super lofty. Lofty pitches were always countered by a simple and sometimes daunting, “HOW?” If that lofty pitch couldn’t immediately address the most basic “how” then it needed to go back to the drawing board. There were many times we all just hoped the person had no idea so we could take a break; more often then not they had actually thought things through and we were all doomed to stare longingly in the direction of the kitchen. The point is, always think about the how. For the above example, the question is quite literally “how am I gonna lose that first 10lbs?” And BE SPECIFIC.
Create a diverse set of goals
Humans are diverse. Having a diverse set of goals aligns with nurturing that diversity. And perhaps more importantly, some goals are just easier to make progress on than others. If there is a huge fitness goal looming over your head and you don’t make progress as quickly as you’d like, you’re in danger of discouragement and quitting. But if you can look to another aspect of your life and see that you’re crushing goals, you are more likely to rally. I promise, there is research. So, I like to set goals in multiple categories, it’s a bonus when the goals in the various categories support goals in other areas. Ex areas: personal, social, financial, health/fitness, home, BHAG. An example of overlapping goals: I’ve set a personal goal to read 10 new books in 2018. I’ve also set a health goal of getting to bed earlier and a home goal of creating a nightly tidying routine. The nightly tidying routine sets me up to goal straight upstairs to read for a little bit before going to bed. Rather than watching a 90min movie, I’ve checked off three boxes. Score.
Grace.
This one speaks for itself. Give yourself space to be human. And then tomorrow, pick it right back up and get into it. Remember, this is not a crockpot.
Cheers to 2018!
Xo, Kimberly Fe'Lix
